What to Talk About When We Talk to Our Kids About Drugs

As a clinical social worker, who has spent almost three decades working with individuals with drug or alcohol problems, I've accumulated quite a collection of articles covering almost every aspect of substance abuse including those which focus on helping parents talk to their kids about the pitfalls and dangers associated with drinking and drugging.  And, sadly, because this topic remains just as pressing as it did then when I first started practicing as it does now, I thought I'd share some of the guidelines I've used with families over the years.

1.  Never, ever humiliate your child. Do your best not to "talk down" or be disparaging. You may be angry and upset, but hit the "pause button" before resorting to threats or remarks you may regret once having said them.  Remember, that toning down your reactivity is the surest way to open up new possibilities and dialogue. And you want to keep the conversation going.

2.  Never, ever confront your child while he or she is under the influence of alcohol or drugs (unless, of course, you think your child needs immediate medical attention).  It's important that when you have that talk that he or she is clear headed and sober.

3.  If your teenager is in emotional pain, let them feel it.  As a parent, I know there is nothing worse than watching your child struggle.  Our impulse is to rescue them.  However, if we don't let them struggle they will never learn how to manage for themselves and work through life's difficult patches.  This is not to suggest that we abandon them in their moments of need.  Rather, we can show them our love by letting them know that we have confidence and faith in their ability to solve their own problems.  Remind them that the pain is not there to punish them.  But is meant instead to show them where and when the healing can begin.  There is always another choice out there.

4.  As a parent, it's important to stay flexible but that does not mean be overly permissive.  You've got to have a bottom line. Your child needs to know, in no uncertain terms, what your limits of tolerance are.  How else can you maintain your integrity and reliability in their eyes?

5. Don't be a snoop. Be vigilant and on top of things, but don't micromanage or violate your child's privacy.  So avoid doing a reconnaissance of their room and reading their diaries.  It will only come back to bite you.

6.  The most common mistake parents make with their kids is to make threats they can't enforce.  Before establishing consequences for any kind of acting-out behavior, be sure you can follow through on them.  It's also a good idea to try and include your kids in the conversation as to what they think would make an appropriate consequence for them breaking or bending the rules.  And if two parents are involved they both need to agree on the mode of discipline that's to be enforced. That's crucial.  All too often parents are at odds with each other.  This kind of "splitting" only confuses kids and leaves them feeling as if no one is in charge.  And they're usually right.

7.  Don't vilify your child.  They're not a monster, although they can be acting like one.  Can you keep in mind that it's the drugs or alcohol which is distorting their behavior? Can you remember to tell them that you love them but hate what drugs are doing to them?

8.  Drugs and alcohol are powerful stuff and require "big medicine" to confront them, so if things begin to spin out of control don't try and go it alone. Get help.  If your child is at risk, don't hesitate to reach out and seek professional help.

(The inspiration for this list originates with the work of Dick Schaefer and his book, "Choices and Consequences:  What To Do When A Teenager Uses Alcohol/Drugs.)

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Couples and Recovery

As a psychotherapist, I've counseled and coached  couples for almost thirty years.  Their complaints run the gamut from "He leaves the toothpaste cap on the side of the sink" to "She's having an affair with my best friend."

But one of the thorniest and most painful of all issues which couples face remains that of addiction. It contaminates every aspect of a relationship and sucks the life right out of it.  A couple's world shrinks smaller and smaller as the addiction begins to dominate practically every aspect of their lives.  It doesn't take long before the non-abusing partner finds themselves organizing their life around the addiction and their addicted loved one.  The playing field between them is no longer level.  The "habit" holds all the cards.  Common sense would dictate that once the vicious cycle of addiction is broken, and the dependent spouse successfully abstains from drugs or alcohol and begins organizing their life around recovery, that peace would prevail and all would return to normal.  However, this is rarely the case.  Instead, what couples frequently experience is anger and resentment.  But why?  What's going on?

To better understand this seemingly paradoxical outcome, we first need to understand what occurs between couples when addiction is present.  Frequently, in a relationship in which one person uses and the other does not, spouses develop "over functioning" or "over responsible" and "under functioning" or "under responsible" styles and roles. Typically, the "over functioning" partner begins to assume more and more day-to-day responsibilities even if it means jeopardizing their own health and welfare to do so.  On the other hand, the "under functioning" spouse, who is abusing, increasingly neglects their commitments and obligations to their relationship and/or work.  The addict's orbit continues to contract into a smaller and smaller space in which there is room for only for two e.g., their habit and themselves.  Consequently, when caught in this downhill trajectory, couples become increasingly isolated and find that what ever future they have together has become suspended and frozen in time.

In my practice, I often hear the addict complain that their "over functioning" partner is a "nag" or "always on my case" while the sober partner retorts with how "irresponsible" and "untrustworthy" their partner has become )which in all likelihood they have).  What this dynamic describes is the distribution of power in a relationship which undergoes a seismic shit when sobriety enters the picture.  Most couples anticipate a smooth transition from addiction to recovery but, as I stated earlier, this is a common misconception and of of recovery's ironies.  Perhaps George Bernard Shaw, the renowned British playwright, said it best when he wrote, "There are two great tragedies in life. One is never getting your heart's desire.  The other is to get it."  The life lesson being that no matter how alluring a much sought after change may appear it, too has its downside. The once using partner who habitually occupied the one-down position in the relationship no longer finds themselves as the low man on the totem pole.  By virtue of being sober, they are now on equal footing or in a symmetrical alignment, so to speak with their partner.  Conversely, the sober spouse is no longer in the one up position.  Their "over functioning" stance is suddenly challenged.  The hyper vigilance which was required when living with an active addict is no longer necessary.

This period of readjustment can be scary and confusing for couples.  If the "over responsible" partner no longer has to hold everyone and everything together, what exactly should they be doing?  And, if the addict no longer has their addiction to keep them occupied what exactly do they do with themselves?  Sobriety requires that each partner redefine themselves not only in relation to themselves but with each other as well.  It can't be stressed enough that the early days of recovery are among the shakiest and couples are especially vulnerable as they  learn to adapt to its uncharted waters.  That's why it's important to advise coupes not to make any major life changes during that first year of sobriety.  Things need to decompress and even out first.

During the transition from addiction to sobriety, couples need to remember that recovery is a joint process which includes both parties. This is not to imply that each partner is responsible for the other's progress. However, it is important to remember that the once offending partner cannot be expected to shoulder all the weight for the couple's ensuing success or failure.  Their job is to stay sober one day at a time and to restructure their life around recovery. Concomitantly, their partner must undergo their own recovery as well.  They have emerged through a trail by fire, often traumatic, and need time to lick their wounds and heal, too.

And this is where a 12-step program becomes relevant. Just as Alcoholic's Anonymous is the cornerstone upon which an addict's successful recovery rests, Alanon is a crucial support for the "over responsible" spouse.  Alanon, which is geared towards those affected by a loved one's addiction, is essential because it not only provides education and information about chemical dependency, it also addresses the interdependency between the couple which is not conducive towards growth and well being.  The program teaches peo0ple how to differentiate between what is their responsibility and what is not. It proves lessons in limit setting and boundaries for those who do not know when and where to draw the line, so to speak.  As a wise teacher taught me, we all need to define a bottom line in order to preserve our dignity and integrity.

But regardless of whether or not one is part of a happy or unhappy relationship, the important thing to remember is that even the best of them is subject to a seemingly never ending process of distillation and resettling. The work is often difficult, painful and upsetting.  However, the promise of transformation and transcendence from what is to what can be remains nothing short of miraculous.

(For further reading on this subject, I recommend Claudia Bepko's and Jo Ann Krestin's "The Responsibility Trap" who originated the "over/under responsible" model from their inspiring work with couples and addiction.)

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers and to the teacher within.

Christmas Legend and Lore: The Meaning of Mistletoe

Where did the ritual of kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas time come from and what's so special about it?

Before there were any Christmas trees, the custom to kiss beneath it most likely originated in pre-Christian Europe where it was believed that mistletoe possessed life bestowing properties and was associated with fertility.  Along this line of thinking, mistletoe was also used as an aphrodisiac and, if that were not enough, it was used an an antidote to poison and to witchcraft as well.  Hence, the custom of hanging mistletoe over a doorway to ward off evil spirits from crossing your threshold.

Its identity with the winter solstice probably originated in Norse mythology, although the plant was also used by the ancient Romans in their festival of Saturnalia also celebrated in mid-December. In Scandinavia, mistletoe is associated with the pagan goddess Frigga who is married to Odin, kind of all the Norse gods. She is also the Norse goddess of love and mother of Balder, god of the summer sun.  And it is with this story in which Frigga and the gods restore her son to life where mistletoe's particular association with Christmas probably began.

The legend goes something like this.  One evening, Balder had a dream in which he foresaw his death.  The next day, he told his mother his dream and she became greatly alarmed for if Balder were to die not only would she lose her beloved son but all life on earth would perish into darkness.  Frigga immediately went into action to avoid such a catastrophe.  She had all the known elements (air, fire, water and earth) along with all the known animals and plants vow that they commit no harm to Balder.  Unfortunately, unbeknown to Frigga, her son had one enemy, Loki, the god of evil who knew one plant that Frigga had overlooked in her frenzy to keep Balder alive and that plant was the humble mistletoe which grew as a vine on both the apple and oak trees. Knowing of Frigga's oversight, Loki made an arrow with its tip hewn from the mistletoe he had gathered and maliciously gave it as a gift to the blind god of winter Hoder who, not realizing what he was doing, shot the arrow and unwittingly struck Balder dead. Just as Frigga feared, the earth darkened and all of the earth's creatures wept for her son. But as this is a folktale and we are dealing with gods and not mere mortals, Balder was miraculously brought back to life.  Frigga was overjoyed and the tears she shed fell on the mistletoe magically creating its characteristic white berries.  From that day on, she decreed that mistletoe would no longer be an agent for evil but instead a symbol of love and peach and that all the gods and humans should kiss beneath its boughs to commemorate her son's return.

It's not much of a leap, then, to see how this Norse legend which celebrates love over death and destruction made its way into European Christianity and pageantry as both Balder's rebirth and Christmas celebrate with world's renewal and emergence into "light".

And that is the story of mistletoe.

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers and to the teacher within

compiled from the Farmer's Almanac and the holiday spot

Percy Bysshe Shelley: 8/4/1792-7/9/1822

Lamb or lion? Perhaps Shelley was a bit of both. What with his angelic face and leonine hair he epitomized the paradox of all existence.  That is, we inhabit both realms of restraint and impulse simultaneously engaged in a lifelong struggle to reconcile these opposites.

Shelley's Numbers and What They Mean:

-His Life Arc (derived from adding together his birth date and the date of his death) corresponds to the number "5". "5" is the intellectual number. It emanates a mental energy and alacrity. They possess keen minds and bore easily.

-The all important Master Number 22 is pervasive throughout Shelley's numbers.  Although your "22s" are the "master builders" they are also idealists and visionaries who are able to execute and concretize their ideas and fantasies. They not only spin daydreams they actually make them materialize.

Shelley's Destiny Number (which reflects his life path and direction) is "22".

He died in the year 1822.

1822 corresponds to the number "4" which in Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese cultures is associated with "death" as it is a homophone for their word for death and is therefore shunned and avoided.

In Western cultures, "4" is associated with the unlucky number "13" as "1" plus "3" totals "4".

Shelley drowned in a boating accident during a storm. In his pocket was a volumne of John Keats's poems.

Shelley's first name, Percy, corresponds to a "22".

His full name, Percy Bysshe Shelley, corresponds to "22" as well.

-Shelley's works include:

Ode to the West Wind

To a Skylark

Prometheus Unbound

Ozymandias

His wife, Mary Godwin Shelley, penned the classic horror tale Frankenstein.

"A poet is a nightengale,

who sits in darkness and sings to cheer

its own solitude with sweet sounds."

from Ode to the West Wind

Two Of Pentacles

How do you handle it all? The juggler  reminds us that life and all it encompasses is a balancing act requiring finesse and tact. Within the card you'll find the "infinity" symbol depicted as a  figure eight loop which teaches us that our attempts to obtain stability and equilibrium are life long pursuits.

Key questions for the querent:

-Are you "juggling" too much?

-Do you get help in trying to manage it all e.g., your day-to-day obligations?

-Are you trying to reconcile two opposites?

-When the seas get stormy are you able to keep your balance?

-Can you go with the flow?

-Do you shine at management?

-Would you like to pass the baton onto another?

-Were you the "go to" person in your family?

-What would happen if you allowed the balls to drop?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Five of Swords

This is a bit of a teaser. Its meaning is ambiguous and difficult to pin down. Essentially, I think the card poses the question "are you the vanquished or the victor?" 

If you draw the Five of Swords consider these questions:

-Are you enjoying success at an other's expense?

- If one of the vanquished was the fight fair?  Did you stand your ground or did something else prevent you from going after what you wanted?

-If you don't fight, do you stand to lose something ?

-Are you comfortable with confrontations or do you take the easy way out?

-Is your ego driving your decisions?  Would you know when to retreat?

-Are you good at picking your battles?

-Is important for you to have the last word?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Herman Melville: 8/1/1819-9/28/1891

Numerological insights into Herman Melville:

-HM's Destiny Number (which reveals one's Life Path) is "3". "3s" are accomplished "communicators" and frequently pursue writing as a career.

 Added together Melville's initials, "H" and "M", total a "3".

-His Expression Number ( which reveals a person's temperament and personality) is "5". "5" is an intellectual number. It symbolizes mental energy and acumen.

-The year of his death, 1891, corresponds to the number "1" which symbolizes beginnings and new energy cycles.

 Melville died at age 72 which is a "9" in numerology. "9" represents"endings" and hence "beginnings".

-The year of his birth, 1819, is a mirror image of the year of his death. The implication being that he died in similar straits to those he lived.

-Melville's numbers contain a plethora of "9s". The Universe expects an awful lot from the number "9". These are your visionaries and teachers who carry the torch of personal conviction even at great personal cost and sacrifice. 

In Chinese culture the number "9" was exulted  as it is the largest single digit number and was associated with their Emperor.  In addition, the Chinese word for "long lasting" is a homophone for the number "9" and is therefore often used at weddings.

-Melville's earnings for a lifetime of writing some of the world's greatest literature was about $10,000. 

-Melville's works include:

Moby Dick

Typee, Omoo, Mardi

Billy Budd

Bartleby, the Scrivener

Benito Cereno

Seven of Wands

This is all about holding your own and standing your ground. Don't be passive. Take a position and fight for it. Believe in it. Have confidence in what you believe to be true. Keep your faith.  Hold the line.

Questions for the querent:

-Do you listen to others and lose your own voice?

-Have you ever had to stand up and defend yourself against all odds?

-Can you withstand criticism or do you cave and give in?

-Do you sometimes feel as if you are fighting a losing battle?

-Do you know which battles to pick and which to avoid?

-Are you frequently a dissenting voice?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Amy Winehouse: 9/14/1983-7/23/2011

2011 was a 9 year for Amy and 9s symbolize "endings". They also signify fame and status which is consistent with her Destiny Number of 8 which is synonymous with abundance and wealth. 8s have a reputation of being larger than life. Everything they touch has to be bigger and better. Elizabeth Taylor was an 8.

Amy joins the pantheon of singers and musicians who died prematurely at age 27 as well e.g., Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. It's eerie that 27 also corresponds to the number 9 in numerology. What is one to make of that?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Casey Anthony and Caylee

What a strange, sad and painful story. It never gets any worse than this. A murdered child and no one held responsible. How horrible is that.

One of the things I like to do when doing numbers with a person who has died is to determine their life arc.  I do this by adding up the numerical value of their birth date and the day and the year they died. In Caylee's case, who was born 8/9/2005 and died 6/16/2008, the sum equals 13 which is culturally associated with bad luck and misfortune. When you reduce 13 to a single digit you arrive at 4 which in Eastern cultures carries the same negative connotations as does 13. It is a shunned and reviled number to be avoided at all costs.

Interestingly, the first and last initials of Calley's mother's name, Casey, correspond to a 4 as well as does Calley's. This suggests a psychic and emotional bond overshadowed by dark energy. 

Casey's Destiny number, which indicates one's direction and path in life, is 1. 1 symbolizes leadership and power. They are your pioneers and entrepreneurs. On the other hand, it can signify being alone and isolated which, I believe, is the meaning for Casey.   I'm afraid she is not going to enjoy the care free life she envisioned for herself. Rather, the ghost of her daughter will continue to haunt her until justice is served.

Judy Garland: 6/10/1922-6/22/1969

Judy. Judy. Judy. Singer. Actress. Comedienne. Dramatist. Artist.  Mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Irresponsible. Responsible. Passionate. Dissolute. Childish. Mature.  Addict. The French have a word for it. "Mostre Sacre" which describes a public figure who despite their foibles and faults is considered too "sacred" to disavow or criticize.  Their talent is just too great. Such was Judy Garland.  Is it any wonder that her petite 4' 11" frame gave out and that her heart burst into smithereens given the enormous burden her gifts and talent wrought her?  How could anyone survive with so much being packed into one little person?

Judy possesses some amazing numbers. Here's what's important about them.

If you take the arc of her life, which you arrive at by adding together her birthday and the day and year of her death, you get "11". "11" enjoys a prominent spot in numerology as it is one of the two Master Numbers (the other being "22") and is considered the Creative Master.  This implies that the trajectory of her life was an inspirational one which was not always practical. "11s" burn with an intensity and urgency and bring fire to most of what they touch. Unfortunately, that fire can sometimes burn out of control and consume them. These are your martyrs. And  if all that were not enough Judy died at age 47 which corresponds to an "11" thus confirming her very special effect on the world.

Judy's Life Path number, which indicates your place in the world, is a "3" and "3s" are your charmers and optimists. They are often entertainers and always terrific communicators.

Her Expression Number, which signifies her temperament and personality, is "9" the most exulted number there is as it's the largest single digit number.  "9s" are known for giving their all. In fact, they often give more than they get. In extreme cases, and I think this pertains to Judy, they give no matter what the cost to themselves. And just as with an "11", "9s" can be impractical.

If you add the numerical value of "J" and "G" together you get the number "8" and "8" represents fame and fortune, although Judy did not always enjoy the fortune.

And as was the case with Marilyn Monroe, the one glaring omission from Judy's name is the number "2". That missing number is referred to as a Karmic Number which tells us what it is we need to do in this lifetime to make up for any deficits in our past. "2" symbolizes "balance", "harmony", "peace" and "equilibrium". All of which eluded Judy. 

Lastly, she died in a year ending in "9" which not only symbolizes "greatness" but "endings" as well.

Amy bows lows at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Anthony Weiner: What a Guy!

What's so intriguing about AW's name and birthday is the abundance of "5s" and "6s" which show up.

To start with, his Life Path number which symbolizes his place in the world is a "6" and "6s" are "perfectionists".They tend to be compulsive and seek out responsibility. Of course, the flip side of that is the tendency to act-out irresponsibly with little regard for consequences. Clearly, AW is a prime example of what happens when the frequency associated with the number "6" runs amok.

AW's birthday is September 4, 1964 which makes him a Virgo which also happens to be the sixth house of the Zodiac. And just like a "6", Virgos are perfectionists who can verge on the compulsive or obsessive.

And if you add up the numerical value of his first initial, "A", and his last initial, "W", it totals the number "6" as well.

Even more striking than the frequency of "6s" is the number of "5's in his name.  In fact, his last name is comprised of nothing but "5s" with the exception of two "9s". The number "5" is the most physical number of all the numbers and is strongly identified with sex and romance. Need I say more? The combination of a compulsive "6" with a randy "5" was a disaster waiting to happen and in AW's case it did just that with a resounding bang (no pun intended!).  His is a classic case of what can go so dreadfully wrong when energy and vibration are misaligned.

 AW's Expression Number which symbolizes personality corresponds to a "9" which symbolizes "fame".  However, In AW's case we are talking "infamy" and not "acclaim".

If I might put my two cents in regarding whether or not AW should resign. I say he should. Anyone who engages in that kind of reckless behavior with so little regard to the risk he is subjecting his family certainly cannot be entrusted with the public welfare. This is not a moral judgement. I'm basing my opinion on whether or not the man is trustworthy and based on his words and deeds his credibility is shot.

"May this world be established with a sense of well being and happiness." Sanskrit saying

Six of Wands

Success. Victory. Triumph. All these attributes add up to the Six of Wands.

Questions to ask of yourself:

-How is your self-esteem?

-Do you feel genuinely good about yourself?

-Do you take pride in who you are?

-Do you run the risk of being arrogant?  Would you recognize the signs?

-While proud of your achievements, are you also humble?

-Do you accept that success is fleeting?

Shanti  Shanti Shanti

Six of Cups

Childhood. Innocence. Purity of spirit. Unabashed wonder of the world. All of these qualities underscore the Six of Cups one of the most delightful and charming cards of the tarot.

- Have you lost your wide-eyed innocence about life or have you retained it?

- Has cynacism gotton the better of you?

-Do you meet life with faith and hope?

-Did you have an idyllic childhood or was it anything but?

-Do you have any siblings? What's your relationship like?

-What does your relationship to your childhood look like?

-How has your childhood affected you as as adult?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Marilyn Monroe: 6/1/1926-8/5/1962

What's left to say? MM has got to be the most written about woman ever(with the exception of Jackie Kennedy Onassis) . However, her name and birth date
do reveal some tantalizing and thought provoking numbers.

First off, MM is a Gemini one of the Zodiac's double-bodied signs along with Sagittarius and Pisces. And with all double-bodied signs you are dealing with the struggle to reconcile opposing or contradictory impulses which run like a lief motif throughout one's life. The idea is to attain moderation and balance, two attributes which eluded MM's short and unhappy life.

MM's Expression Number, which signifies one's temperament and personality, is a "3" which fits as "3s" possess great charm and frequently make a career as entertainers.  However, if the energy of a "3" becomes misaligned or misdirected they can appear  "scattered and unfocused. If confined, they become restless and unhappy" (Cafeastrology). And, as a  "3", it makes sense that MM's birth month of June falls in Gemini the third house of the Zodiac.   Following the theme of "3s" in MM's life,  the third card of the Major Arcana in the tarot is the Empress which symbolizes the maternal. Needless to say we are all familiar with MM's tortured childhood and her sad and painful relationship with her mother who suffered from debilitating mental illness.

"Marilyn" translates to a "2" and "2" symbolizes balance and harmony which, again, are two attributes which eluded her. I might add that MM is missing a "2" letter from her name which makes it a Karmic letter (all the letters in the alphabet have a numerical equivalent. The "2" letters are "B", "K" and "T").  A Karmic letter or number tells you what it is that you need to work on in this lifetime to compensate for a deficit in a previous lifetime. So,, as a "2" represents peace and tranquility MM needed to dedicate her life towards obtaining those qualities. I think she honestly tried to do so, but for unknown cosmic forces was unable.

 "Monroe" as well as the initials of her name "MM" correspond to an "8" which normally would indicate a person who has a "grip" on life e.g., they can successfully navigate its rocky shores. But this was not the case with her. By the same token, "8" is considered the jackpot number meaning that it is associated with wealth, fortune and good luck so that is a closer fit as MM did enjoy all three during her life although she paid a heavy price.  Remember, too, that the number "8" is a twin image of itself e.g., the top of the number mirrors the bottom. So there is yet another double image like Gemini and MM's initials. And when you rest the number "8" on its side it becomes  the symbol for Infinity as well. This can be interpreted as a reminder that MM's  life long struggle to come to terms with her inner demons, who kept her on an emotional roller coaster, would require a lifetime commitment to battle them  if she were to successfully overcome them. Sadly, things did not work out that way.

 MM died in a "4" year which in many cultures, especially the Chinese, symbolizes "death". In Western culture, the number "4" can mean "rest", "repose", and "inertia". This corresponds to the Four of Swords in the tarot's Minor Arcana which depicts a body reclining on what looks like an sarcophagus.In fact, the day she died, "8/5" is also a "4".

And  MM's birth year of 1926  and the year of her death 1962 are mirrored-opposites of one in another. In other words, the "26" and the "62" are transposed and they both correspond to the number "9", which signifies fame and fortune.  "9" symbolizes endings as well.  I'm not sure what the significance of the mirrored birth and death years mean other than it reflects a duality which we see as a constant thread running throughout MM's life and which she was unable to resolve.  The message from her spirit guides very well may be that her end was no different from her beginning.

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.



Four of Swords

When you draw the Four of Swords think "repose", "contraction", "inertia", "rest", "passivity". It's an invitation for you to step back and "consider", "contemplate" and apply the brakes. "Swords" signify mental activity and cognition. All things intellect.  The message here is that new ideas emanate from a fresh and unfetterd mind. Remember that we do our best thinking when we dream. It's a paradox.

Questions for the querent:

-Do you allow for "time taking time"?

-Are you on overdrive?

-Can you recognize when you need to hit the pause button?

-Are you so busy taking care of others that you make no time to take care of yourself?

-Are you mentally exhausted?

-Do you meditate?

-Is it difficult for you to slow down?

-Are you a Type A personality?

-How would you have to be different in order to pull back and relax?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

King of Wands

Surrounded by symbols of fire this king burns with intensity. The lion depicted on his throne is long associated with authority and rule. It's also a stand-in for the astrological sign of Leo whose element is fire. The salamander at his feet has long been identified in mythology as symbolizing fire as well. In fact, the salamander in some ancient cultures is believed to have taught Man how to create and manipulate fire. Everything about the King of Wands connotes creative and combustible energy. He encourages you to take a project or an idea just that one step further. Go the limit and beyond. He sets the bar high and challenges you to exceed it. Be bold. Have courage. Dream the impossible.  Stay inspired.

Questions for a consultation:

-Are you living your "dream"?

-Do you take chances?

-Are you expressing yourself in your work and relationships?

-Are you feeling energized or exhausted?

-Do you hold back and loose faith?

-Is there a passion you are not fulfilling?

-What would it take to "light your fire"?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

The Two of Cups

A beautiful card in all that it symbolizes. Reconciliation. Peace. Harmony. Connection. A meeting of the mind and spirit. The griffin, the mythological creature with the head of a lion and the body of an eagle, long considered by the ancients as the "king of creatures" connotes powerful and magical energy. The two snakes entwined around a rod is known as a "caduceus" signifies the merging of commence and negotiation. I think given the context of the tarot the emphasis is on "negotiation".  This iconic figure also represents the Sumerian fertility god, Ningizzida, which makes sense as the Two of Cups depicts a man and a woman joining forces and bonding. From their gaze and their body language we can conclude they are lovers.

Here are some questions to think about when considering this evocative card:

-Is your relationship isolating you from others?

-If not together, what is holding you back?

-Is your relationship balanced and fair?

-If in a relationship what needs to be healed or resolved?

-Do you have intimacy issues?

-Is there something or someone which prevents you and your partner from "bonding"?

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Miss Peggy Lee: 5/26/20-1/21/02

I don't think I've ever run across a name like hers before. That is, the letters in "Peggy Lee" correspond to just two numbers, a "5" and a "7". That is very, very unusual. So what to make of it? Well, in Chinese numerology it's believed that the more times a number appears the more powerful that number vibrates to its intrinsic nature. Therefore, the "5s" and the "7s" in her name, which appear three times and five times respectively, are three times and five times more powerful than just a single digit would be. That's big medicine.

PL's Expression Number, which symbolizes her personality and temperament, is a "5" and "5" is the most physical of all the numbers. It's associated with sex and romance. By the same token, "5" also connotes great mental alacrity.  The important thing about the number "5" is that it's synonymous with motion and a lot of it. After all, it's ruled by the planet Mercury (Hermes) the messenger to the Greek gods who was constantly in flight on Mt. Olympus. 

In addition, if you add the numerical values of the  "P" and the "L" in her name you get another "5". Amazing. "Lee" is an especially sexy name because of that double "e" ("e" is a "5" letter). And "Peggy" has that double "g" which, numerically is a "7". The doubling of double letters makes sense as PL is a Gemini (the Twins),  one of the Zodiac's double-bodied signs.  Also, if you add "7" and "5" you get "12" which is reduced to a "3" as you always reduce a double digit to a single one in numerology and  Gemini, of course, is the third house of the Zodiac.   Gemini's element is "air" and, as is the letter "5", is ruled by the planet Mercury as well. Very cool.

Not only is PL's Life Path number (indicates your place in the world) a "7" but her name contains five "7s"! "7" signifies spirituality and the heavens e.g., the non-material world. "7s" are not attached to physical planes. They dwell in loftier climbs. Think ethereal and celestial firmaments. PL's world was one of music and music, after all, transcends our linear and physical lives. Rather, music speaks to our souls. It transports us to places not identifiable on a map. I don't think it's a stretch to say that Peggy Lee's voice which seemed to float on air did just that.

"Music is an outburst of the soul."  Frederick Delius

"Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory."  Oscar Wilde

"All deep things are song."  Thomas Carlyle

"Music is the poetry of air."  Richter

"Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual." Ludwig van Beethovan

Amy bows lows at the feet of all her holy teachers.

Oprah Winfrey

With her first name beginning with a capital "O", Oprah joins the pantheon of  larger than life luminaries whose names share that formidable letter. Think Orson Welles, Oscar Wilde, Barack Obama and Laurence Olivier.  The letter "O" requires that you stand up and pay attention.  This letter is not shy.

There is no doubt that Oprah lives up to her "O".  Her numbers underscrore her meteoric rise to fame and phenomenal destiny. Her first name corresponds to the number "22" which is one of the two Master Numbers in numerology. The other being "11".   "22s" are your master builders. They take on great responsibility, which most of us would find daunting,  and exercise authority and power but always in a meaningful and creative way. They are idealists and visionaries who manage to stay realistic and pragmatic and concretize their dreams.

Oprah's last name, "Winfrey", translates to a "1" and "1s" are your pioneers and innovators who are admired and looked up to.

When you add the numerical equivalents of the "O" and the "W" in her name you get an "11" which is the other Master Number along with "22". "11s" are your givers and altruists. They are the world's humanitarians and teachers.  In addition, the eleventh house of the Zodiac is Aquarius which also happens to be Oprah's birth sign whom many astrologists consider the "sweethearts" of the Universe.

But that's not all. Oprah's Life Path number, which symbolizes her place in the world, is yet another "22".  And when you add her birth day of "29" you get another "11" as you do when you add her birth month of "1" with her birth year "1954".  Amazing.  It's small wonder that she choose to exit her talk show in 2011. How could she do otherwise?

Appropriately enough the number "11", which figures so prominently in her life, corresponds to the tarot's card of Justice in the Major Arcana.  I'd say that's a match.

Amy bows low at the feet of all her holy teachers.